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Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The birth of my Son

    As I had traveled farther into attachment parenting and unschooling with my girls I learned more about home birth, self weaning, co sleeping, cloth diapering, and child wearing. I decided that if I were to ever get pregnant again, which we wear not planning on it, I wanted a home birth. Well soon after this thought my desire to have another baby grew bigger and bigger and I just couldn't let it go. I knew that I was meant to have another child. I really wanted to raise a boy. I could feel it so deeply within my core. My husband on the other hand was happy with our three beautiful girls. I was too but the desire was there lurking deep within whispering to me. One more just one more. Soon after this I got sick and went into the hospital at this point they had learned that my IUD had perforated through my Uteris and was wrapped around my large intestine. I also learned around this time I had some form of IBD, which is why I went in in the first place, finding the IUD was not in my plan, but it was in the universes plan. Now that I was not on birth control and didn't want to go on birth control we were using the pull it out method due to my allergy to most condoms. All of a sudden I woke up and felt very ill and so I decided to take  a pregnancy test because it felt like morning sickness. Sure enough it was positive. I was so excited! I couldn't believe it! The Universe worked it's magic, rearranged my life and BAM! Were having a baby. Hubby was excited after the shock wore off. In my heart I knew it was a boy and I had his name picked out already. Garrett Daniel Ferns.


    Now I needed a midwife. Someone that would help me birth my baby at home despite my ordeal with the IUD and our financial situation. I searched and searched and started to get discouraged and then I ran into someone at the store and we got to talking about birth and she gave me the name of a midwife that is very open to payments and birthing women with previous traumas. I called her as soon as I got home and we set up a time to go and meet her. I fell in love with her and her assistant. She said yes to birthing our baby. I was so excited!



    Garretts pregnancy went fabulously well. My colitis symptoms had subsided during the pregnancy and I was able to be pretty active with my girls. My girls were very excited about having another baby in the house. They couldn't wait to hold and snuggle a little baby. We weren't going to find out what we were having because I thought it make having a home birth even more awesome but the baby inside of me had a better idea. It wanted me to know what it was. It was not hard to tell that it was a he. 







     I had spent a lot of time visualizing the birth I wanted. What I wanted the weather to be like, who I wanted to be there, I would just sit and imagine it as if it were happening. Doing thins felt so good and calming to my soul. I talked a lot about the birth I wanted with my children, husband, family and friends. I wanted it to turn out perfect. 

At about 4:00 PM on the fourth of August I thought I had wet my pants but what was weird was every time I moved water trickled down my leg. I called my midwife and she informed me that my water had broke. This is exactly what I wanted to happen I wanted to feel my water break. It was an amazing experience. My midwife came and stayed through out the night as my contractions kept going. At about 4:00 Am I laid down to rest because my contractions has become faint. I then woke and sat straight up at exactly 7:00 AM woke my husband and said honey the baby is coming. Then BAM! A hard contraction hit, then another, and another. Then I felt a pop as he slid into my pelvis. 

The day was exactly as I visualized. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, there was a cool breeze coming through my window, and I was surrounded by family and friends. As the contractions intensified I headed to my room to lay on my bed. The contractions got more intense one after the other and then I felt it the urge to push and it was time. It was time to finally meet my little guy for the first time and hold him in my arms. I pushed three good pushes and he was out. After 4.5 hours of intense natural labor Garrett Daniel Ferns was born at 11:31 AM on August 5th 2010.  He did not cry once and latched on perfectly when he fed for the first time. He weighed in at 7 lbs 8 ozs and was 20.5" long. He was my biggest baby out of the four of them.

All three of my girls watched the whole thing. They have all watched each other be born. It is just something that felt natural to me. Childbirth like sex is natural why hide it. It isn't icky or wrong it is natural. I got mixed reviews about letting my girls watch. I was told that it might traumatize them. I didn't understand this How would something so beautiful and natural traumatize them? This just doesn't make sense to me. Not once did they say ewww or gross. They were totally fascinated with it all and wanted to be a part of it. They wanted to see everything and help as much as possible. They cheered me on as I pushed out their baby brother. It made that day that much better.







I couldn't believe I did it! I couldn't! I was so in love with myself in that moment. I just did the most amazing thing in the world I gave birth to a baby naturally. It was a joyous day one that I will never forget. If I had the chance to do it all over again I would do it in a heartbeat. 

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